October 2024
My office chair is cursed. Honestly, it somehow morphed from the dependable, supportive creative partner my backside has relied upon for decades to a spring-loaded ejection seat whose sole purpose in life is to keep me as far away from achieving writing goals as possible.
I am not kidding!
As soon as I set a goal to rewrite my script in a week, I was jinxed. Remember in the last post how I said that not two minutes after I set that goal and said it out loud to my husband, the phone rang, and we had to go pick up my sick daughter from school?
Well, this was only the beginning.
September was crazy! Every, single time my backside made contact with my chair, the cursed thing would tilt me back, spin around and, catapult me right smack in the throes of something that needed my immediate attention. Emails, phone calls, appointments, last minute meetings and schedule changes. I wanted to blow everything off and just write, but I'm a mom first, and screenwriter second, so...
I did what I do. I adapted. I was literally writing five minutes here, five minutes there. There were many days where it wasn't uncommon for me to write in three or four locations in the same day. We're talking a coffee shop, in the back of my truck, while sitting on the floor at the dojo, and, if I got lucky, I could sometimes squeeze in a bit of writing here at home, in my office. It was exhausting, but I was determined.
One week flew by...
Then two...
Then three...
Then, miraculously, and totally by chance, I was gifted two-days of work without constant interruptions or appointments, etc. I was on a roll until...
My mom called on day three with some incredibly sad news. She told me that she and my dad lost their dog, Kooper, suddenly and unexpectedly. I was in total shock and disbelief. No way, I thought!
Kooper had just spent the past two weeks with us, going for daily walks with me, sometimes twice a day, playing with our kids and our dog, snuggling with us in bed and on the couch, on those rare occasions we watched TV, sleeping behind my chair while I was working, snuggling with our dog, going for rides to drop off or pick the kids up from school. He seemed perfectly happy and healthy the entire time he was with us. I couldn't believe he was gone.
Kooper, was Justin, the kids' and I's surrogate dog. He stayed with us whenever my parents went away or whenever they'd be gone for too long to leave him alone. We'd grown very attached to the sweet, goofy, clumsy, cuddle-bug and it was a major shock to lose him so suddenly and unexpectedly due to a rare type of cancer that loves to attack Portuguese Waterdogs. It's called Hemangiosarcoma.
According to the American Kennel Club, "Hemangiosarcoma is known as a "silent killer" because dogs often show no symptoms until the tumor has grown so large that it ruptures and spreads-- too late to save the dog's life." It's responsible for 50% of all cancer cases in Portuguese Water Dogs.
For the next week, 110% of Justin and I's mornings and evenings were devoted to snuggling the kids and grieving with them and helping them work through their grief. Time marched forward and, as a family, we moved on as much as you can when you lose a beloved pet.
Sad, but able to focus, I threw myself back into the rewrite every moment I could find, grateful for the break from reality. The days sped by and the interruptions continued to be constant. I was getting antsy and becoming more and more frustrated by my lack of time to work.
With the kids in school, you'd think I'd have a huge chunk of time every day to work, but it's the exact opposite. I now live in the car. Worse, the kids' schedules are so erratic with all of their days off and late start days, some of which change on a moment's notice and teachers and school admins are constantly emailing me. AHHH!
It's crazy to think that I had so much more time to write when the kids were home on summer break! How is that possible?
When I'd get super frustrated, I'd suddenly hear my manager, Stephanie Rogers's soft voice in my head. On many occasions, she'd lovingly tell me something to the effect that I put way too much pressure on myself and that I'm always setting completely unrealistic goals. She'd urge me to be more realistic. That's really, really hard for me.
But I've realized over the years that yes, my goals are unrealistic, especially as a mom. With no childcare and two neurodiverse kids who require a little extra running in terms of appointments, I have no choice but to be flexible.
And so, thanks to Stephanie, my new goal is to kill my goals or simply not to set goals anymore. As crazy and counterintuitive as this sounds, it actually works wonders, relieves a lot of stress, and keeps the universe from jinxing me!
That's not to say I don't have ambitions because I do, and big ones at that, but I know that if I work a little each day (or at least most days, or I work a lot one day and not a lot on other days and even do nothing on other days) on those ambitions, I'll eventually achieve them. The idea is to let go of rigidity in order to keep moving forward.
And so now, I form an idea of what I want to get done and approximately when, but I don't say it out loud nor do I write it down. That way when life gets in the way, I can mostly shrug it off and keep moving forward until I cross the finish line.
Back to the rewrite...
Before I knew it, an entire month had screamed by, BUT... Through sheer persistence, determination, and grit, I finally got the script done and boy did it feel like an epic accomplishment!
Despite navigating...
2 kids in 3 schools in three different cities (none of which is our own), and averaging 2-5 hours a day in the car...
2 sick kids, one of whom came home sick on two separate occasions
5 late start days at my son's school
5 meetings with teachers and school counselors
5 doctor's appointments
Insurance companies and medical billing for myself and the kids
Medication adjustments and picking up new prescriptions
Spinal injections
4 tutoring sessions
4 occupational therapy sessions
4 myofunctional therapy sessions
7 orthodontist appointments at 2 different orthodontist offices
Planning, then cancelling spine surgery due to a horrific pre-op visit with the surgeon
Parent-Teacher conferences at school number 1
Cooking, cleaning and attempting to conquer the Mt. Everest of laundry and dishes
Assistant teaching karate 3 classes a week, getting the kids to karate to student teach 2 additional classes per week
Getting kids to karate and other activities 7 days a week
Training 8+ hours a week in the dojo to prep to test for a black belt in May 2025
Managing chronic pain and spine issues...
Fiber optic contractors from Quantum, screwing up what should have been a SIMPLE job laying and burying fiberoptic cable in our yard.
Tracking down medical records
Flat tires on two vehicles that needed to be replaced
An overheating issue with the truck
Volunteering with my daughter's Girl Scout Troop
2 days of drugs and bedrest due to severe back spasms
Writing, shooting, editing and releasing MAMA FIX IT™ Episode 10
And so much more
When I was done, I gave the script to Justin to read and waited for him to have time to read it. I was losing my mind. Why couldn't he get to it faster? Well, duh, it was for the same reasons it took me a month to rewrite it. He was no less busy.
It took him a week to read the script, but when he did, he said he loved the changes I'd made. He did make a couple of suggestions and, did a great job pointing out the typos. Feeling encouraged, I fixed the typos and tightened up a few things then gave the script to one of my super talented friends.
As a busy mom of three kids, she somehow managed to find time to read the script within a week and then to give me some great feedback. I was so grateful! I then took a couple of days, fixed typos and incorporated Justin and my friends' notes, then sent the script to Stephanie, Marty, Steve and Eric to read.
It was a Friday, and everyone promised to read the script early the following week. I was so anxious to see what they thought of the changes I'd made, but all I could do was wait.
I am so sorry for your family's loss. Losing a pet is so hard! Congratulations on finishing the rewrite! Fingers crossed everyone loves it! Good luck!