#charlizetheron, #reindeergames, #theonlywayout, #denveranddelilah, #stephanierogers, #martykatz, #bethkono, #intheshadowoflongspeak, #giaquintoproductionsllc, #amygiaquinto
In March 2021, after making a list of A-list actresses that would be perfect for the lead role in my script, THE ONLY WAY OUT, Stephanie, my manager, Marty and Steve, my films producers, and I agreed to start with Charlize Theron because, well, she's Charlize Theron and Marty had worked with her on the film, REINDEER GAMES. Seriously, as an incredible actress AND mother, we believed she would be absolutely perfect for the role. Not only that, but Charlize is also a powerful female producer, which we believed would be a huge added bonus for my female-driven film.
I spent a lot of time researching Denver & Delilah and understood going in that they aren't a huge production company with endless funds. They produce lower budget, artistic and meaningful films. Still, we all agreed that it was worth letting Charlize and Beth, her business partner, read the script. The thought was if they loved it, if Charlize loved it, she'd want to sign on as an actress AND possibly a producer.
Four years earlier, Stephanie had reached out to Denver & Delilah for another script of mine and spoke with Charlize's partner, Beth. At the time, Beth had agreed to read my award-winning script, IN THE SHADOW OF LONG'S PEAK. Unfortunately, although everyone at Denver & Delilah, including Charlize, liked the script, its budget was well beyond what Denver & Delilah could afford to produce. However, Beth was so impressed by the script that she told Stephanie she would be happy to read anything else I sent their way.
And then 4 years elapsed... (I'll write about that later.) Stephanie vaguely remembered the conversation she'd had with Beth, but not many of the details. (This amazing woman only talks to a million people every, single day). Thankfully, I had kept notes so was able to refresh her memory and she passed along the info to Marty,
Marty called Beth and pitched the story to her. Beth agreed to read the script. Again, I was over-the-moon excited. The whole thing felt just as surreal as it had when IN THE SHADOW OF LONG'S PEAK was at Denver & Delilah.
I had been given access to one of the most successful producers/actresses/ in Hollywood, yet here I was going about my very unglamorous daily routine of caring for two young kids, ages 4 and 9, cooking, cleaning, doing endless loads of laundry and dishes, shopping, repairing cars, scrimping and saving every penny, running kids to activities, appointments, etc. I felt like once again, I had achieved something very few people achieve, yet nothing had changed.
When I told my family and a select couple of friends that I was in the door with Denver & Delilah and that Charlize might read my script, the reactions weren't what I had expected. I mean, my best friends freaked out and were super excited and that was great, a lot of fun, but my family simply wished me good luck. My dad was excited in his own way and my mom was, too, but she said she didn't even know who Charlize was. (Sorry, Charlize.)
I longed for another screenwriter to talk to, someone who'd been in this position before, someone with whom I could commiserate, but I couldn't find anyone and I wasn't about to reach out on social media to ask, either. In all honesty, it was incredibly exciting, but also somewhat isolating and a bit lonely.
While my script was at Denver & Delilah, I kept my phone glued to my side. My emotions were all over the place. One minute I was flying high and the next, I was drowning in the reality of knowing that the odds of Charlize signing onto the project were probably about the same as winning the Powerball and getting struck by lightning 3 times in the same day while doing backflips on the trampoline. But still, a kernel of hope was there. This could be it... or not... I mean she'd already turned me down once.
Every day for the next two weeks, part of me wanted my phone to ring so I'd have an answer and could move on one way or another while another part of me didn't want that kind of closure. I was a happy one minute, grumpy the next, anxious mess. My mind was racing. What if, by some miracle, Charlize said yes. I realized I'd already been mentally prepared to tell everyone that Charlize turned the project down.
But what if she didn't? I was an expert at failing. In fact, I put the "F" in failure. Failing was easy. Failing was the story of my life. It's how I learn. It's what I understand. What I didn't understand or know how to do was succeed and especially on this level. I was terrified and wondered why success was more terrifying than failure? What was I afraid of?
Anyway, one day, about two weeks later, Stephanie called and told me that she'd spoken with Marty who had spoken with Beth about my script. I was shaking so bad I could hardly hold the phone in my hand. Stephanie explained that everyone at Denver & Delilah Films loved the script and had had a company-wide meeting to discuss it, but ultimately Charlize didn't feel like she connected with the role and didn't think that anyone would believe she wasn't capable of doing the actions in the script based on her previous action roles. This was a very valid point as my hero is an everyday mother, not a superhero or a well-trained spy or soldier. My manager then said Beth wished us all the best of luck with the script and that was that.
I was simultaneously disappointed and relieved, but more disappointed. I desperately wanted to talk with Charlize and Beth and make changes to the script and do whatever it took to get Charlize on board, but that's not how this biz works, especially when you have a script with no financing and no distribution attached. There was nothing more we could do. I'd had my chance and now it was time to move on.
And so, incredibly grateful to have had an opportunity very few writers get, I sent Beth, Charlize, and their associates a personalized thank you card, gratefully thanking them for their time and consideration. I have no idea if they ever received it, but I had to try. It's really important for me to let other people know how much I appreciate the time they took out of their busy lives to consider my material.
After I'd sent the thank you card, I had an emotional crash. I'd spent weeks in an excited and anxious state and now it was over and it was back to square one with the script. I know it's just business, but my brain and body, the part of me that can't separate Amy from writing was absolutely heartbroken. I had worked so hard on THE ONLY WAY OUT, worked so hard as a feature film writer and have sacrificed so much only to be hit with obstacle after obstacle when it comes to trying to get my scripts made.
I was a mess and felt like a massive failure. I felt like I'd failed my husband and kids and family and friends, everyone who had supported me. It was ugly and I knew THE ONLY WAY OUT of the ugliness was to do what I had always done best with every painful situation in life...Make light of the situation.
I started telling people that I've been rejected by Charlize Theron, not once, but twice. Seeing the looks on their faces is priceless and cracks me up to no end. I know they think I'm full of $#@! and am just messing with them, or that I am delusional and have completely lost my mind and am living in some sort of alternate reality. Just thinking about some of the reactions I've gotten makes me giggle.
Over time, I've come to accept that the way I define failure verses the way others define failure are two vastly different things. From the time I was little, I've always set goals that are impossibly high, and I've always seen achieving every major goal as an all-or-nothing proposition.
I used to assume that this was what super successful people did to become super successful. They reached beyond what everyone else thought was possible and simply made it happen. After all, this is the story we're told over and over again on the news, in movies, TV shows, online, etc. What I've come to realize as I've matured is that no massive, life-changing goal was ever achieved without first having achieved a thousand smaller successes and failures, without having achieved hundreds of smaller goals along the way.
It has taken decades, and a lot of conversations with my husband and therapists and even my kids, for me to begin to accept the importance of celebrating small victories, even if they initially feel like failures because oftentimes, they are anything but.
Eventually, I celebrated the fact that I had made it in the door at Denver & Delilah, not once, but twice! And I celebrated the fact that I was rejected not once, but twice, by Charlize Theron because, after all, very few people on this planet will ever have the unique opportunity to be rejected by Charlize Theron. Twice.
Comments