#stephanierogers, #philiprogers, #kirstiealley, #tomberenger, #robertredford, #sidneypoitier, #giaquintoproductionsllc, #lasvegas, #hooverdam, #shoottokill, #brycecanyon, #amygiaquinto, #zionnationalpark, #utah, #screenwritingmom, #lactoseintolerant, #glutenintolerant, #theonlywayout
I spent the kids' last day of school frantically packing and loading our Ford Expedition for our road trip to CA. Meanwhile, Justin scrambled to finish a project for work.
Our goal was to leave the minute the kids got out of school (of course both got out at different times because what fun would it be if they didn't...) and drive as far as my body would allow, then grab a hotel for the night, get up early and drive the next day. At the time I was dealing with severe back pain accompanied by intense radiating nerve pain through both of my hips and down both of my legs accompanied by weakness on the left side.
In addition to my normal degenerative back issues and scoliosis, I'd apparently herniated one of my bulging discs and it was randomly shooting/leaking what I call disc juice into my spinal canal, bathing my spinal nerves and surrounding tissues in painfully acidic toxic disc juice. This toxic disc juice was also triggering a full-body autoimmune response.
In other words, I was exhausted, in a lot of pain from top to bottom, struggling with mobility, and sitting sucked. But this is par for the course for me, and I was determined to have a good time on vacation regardless of the pain! Life goes on.
The second school got out, we hit the road. We stopped to cook dinner in random parking lots (going out to eat is hard for our family due to a variety of food allergies/intolerances), tent camped on some amazing BLM land near Bryce Canyon National Park, hiked and did a brief driving tour of the spectacular Bryce Canyon National Park, hiked behind waterfalls, toured and tent camped in Zion National Park, and checked out the Hoover Dam, the last stop before moving on to finally meet my manager, Stephanie.
By the time we were ready to leave the Hoover Dam, my anxiety was off the charts. I was so excited to meet Stephanie in Las Vegas, but so, incredibly nervous at the same time. She'd been so, incredibly helpful and supportive for so many years that all I wanted was to make a good impression and after having been in the truck in the hot sun all day, despite AC, that felt almost impossible. I was also excited to meet her husband, Phil, a producer who had worked with big names like Sidney Poitier, Kirstie Alley and Tom Berenger!
Despite having showered at the campground that morning, I felt like I needed another shower. And my hair was a mess thanks to my hat and the wind at the Dam. There was nothing I could do other than attempt to give life to my flat hat hair, freshen up with a wet washcloth, grab my makeup from out of the cooler (I'd put it in there to keep my lipstick from melting in the desert heat), put it on and pray that the kids would be in a better mood by the time we arrived.
Both were HOT, TIRED, GROUCHY and they'd been OVERWHELMED by the number of people at the Dam. Both were both still recovering from COVID anxiety and being in crowded places was hard for them.
When we were ready to go, I called Stephanie and told her we were on our way and said I'd update her as we got closer. Of course, we ran into severe traffic, passed what we believed to be a fatal car crash and a second very serious motorcycle crash, in which passers-by were administering first aid to a man lying in the weeds on the opposite side of the highway. It didn't look good for the man, and we wondered if he, too, had lost his life. It was awful. I was so sad for the person who, one minute was here and the next were gone. I was so sad for the motorcyclist. I wanted to help, but he was on the opposite side of the highway and EMS was arriving.
The crashes only added to my anxiety. Justin was driving. I was holding the assist bar, phantom braking and steering and just plain driving him crazy. I'm surprised he didn't kick me out of the truck. Quite the contrary, he simply ignored my ridiculous behavior.
At some point, we found an alternate route around traffic and road closures. Still, I was beginning to wonder if we'd ever get there.
But alas, we finally arrived. My daughter was out cold in her car seat and my son wasn't ready to meet new people, so we parked in the shade, and I decided to head in while Justin hung out in the truck with the kids until they were ready to go.
Stephanie opened the door and welcomed me inside. It was so good to finally meet her. She was the kindest, classiest woman I'd ever met. She invited me into her gorgeous home and introduced me to her husband, Producer Phil Rogers. It was such a pleasure to finally meet both of them in person. They're such nice people. Stephanie asked about Justin and the kids, and I explained that they'd be in shortly because my daughter had fallen asleep.
In the meantime, Stephanie grabbed me something to drink and invited me to have a seat in her living room. She had gone to lengths to prepare a beautiful spread of snacks for all of us and at that point, I suddenly felt like a total idiot. With all of the craziness of getting ready for the trip, the end of school and the excitement of meeting her, I had completely forgotten to tell her about the food allergies and intolerances plaguing our family. I felt so stupid. How could I have forgotten to do that and how was I ever going to make it through the day?
But before I could say anything, Justin and the kids came in. My daughter immediately curled up in a ball on the corner of their couch. I had to remind her that we were at someone else's house and to please not put her dirty feet on their white couch. She didn't really understand why. She was tired. This was a couch, so what was the big deal? Thankfully, though, she didn't fight. She put her feet back where they belonged.
Stephanie then brought out a platter of tortilla rolls and what looked to be the most incredible cheese dip I've ever seen, a special recipe passed down by her mom. One that clearly took a lot of thought and time to prepare. One that none of us could eat. Justin's has a rare autoimmune reaction to dairy products, and the rest of us are lactose-intolerant to the point that consuming the smallest amount of dairy causes MAJOR problems, not just GI distress.
If I could have crawled under a rock, I would have. I was dying. Justin and I were both looking at one another and I could tell he was, too, and he was thinking exactly what I was thinking.
We have to try some of the dip, even if it kills us.
BUT our kids were there, and that wouldn't have been safe or appropriate, so we had no choice, but to pass. I explained the situation and apologized profusely for screwing up. I felt sick to my stomach.
I could tell Stephanie wasn't happy about it (I wouldn't have been either), but she went to her fridge and took out some cherries for us to snack on. I also told the kids that if they peeled the cheese off of the tortilla wraps, they could have the meat inside. My 10 year-old son, being a bottomless pit, loaded up his plate with wraps.
While we talked and listened to Stephanie and Phil reminisce about their time in Hollywood and how challenging it was to film the Sidney Poitier film Phil produced, SHOOT TO KILL (one of my favorite thrillers of all time), my gluten-intolerant son proceeded to pick (not peel) the tortilla off of the wrap. While Stephanie talked about her time as a Development Executive at Paramount and a Program Executive at Universal TV, my son picked, rather than peeled the cheese off, and proceeded to eat the lunchmeat inside the wrap with his fingers, like he was a prehistoric child born in a cave.
As Stephanie talked about sharing an office on the Universal lot with the gracious and warm Robert Redford, my six- year-old daughter sat on their immaculate white couch, hovering over their immaculate white carpet while shoving the juiciest cherries I've ever seen into her mouth.
It was all we could do to try and keep the furniture clean and keep my kids from eating like feral animals. It was stressful beyond stressful, messy and awkward and totally horrifying which is exactly why it will end up in one of my scripts someday. But I guess this is what it's like to be a mom in Hollywood.
By some miracle, nobody spilled anything and nothing got stained. When we were done snacking, Stephanie showed us around her community. It was beautiful and it gave us a chance to chat and really get to know one another on a different level. The kids were awestruck and, thankfully, very well behaved and attentive during our walk and I was relieved to have them outside where they couldn't make a mess.
After our walk, we went back inside to gather our belongings so we could hit the road again. Phil gave my daughter a turtle figurine. He loves turtles and so does she. It was very sweet, and I felt like I had salvaged the rest of the meeting after my blunder with the food.
On our way out, we asked to use their restroom since we were planning to drive the rest of the way to CA. Everything was great until my son literally disappeared in the bathroom and went to war with some kind of GI monster.
He wasn't sick, he just had to go and go and go and, of course, go LOUDLY... I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare. Worse, desperate to go, we kept trying to get him to hurry up, but he does things at his own pace and said that hurrying wasn't an option. I wanted to curl up in a ball and roll away, but I couldn't because I knew I couldn't just leave my son in my manager's bathroom (although the thought did briefly cross my mind).
Finally, after what felt like an eternity, my son surfaced and so did the smell the second he opened the door. Oh, the smell. It was so...incredibly...bad. We're talking as bad as bad can be. My face was on fire. I was so completely embarrassed. I quickly ducked into the bathroom to make sure he hadn't completely destroyed it, if you know what I mean. By the time I came out of the bathroom, Stephanie, Justin and both of my kids were putting shoes back on by the open front door. I hurried over and slid on my shoes. We said one more round of goodbyes, got back in the truck, and set out for California.
As we drove to CA, Justin tried to reassure me that everything would be okay, and he said that Stephanie and I would look back and laugh at this in the future. That's great, but this wasn't the future and since I'm me, I spent the entire drive to CA obsessing over how I could have forgotten the food thing while Justin spent the entire drive to CA telling me to let it go and reminding me that we all forget sometimes, and we all make mistakes. What's done is done, now move on. I quieted the obsessing and wished my brain was the kind of brain that could just move on.
One meeting down, one to go...